Sod removal

Ahh, the time of year for sprucing up the yard and removing sod. Of course, here in central Indiana, we've been mowing our yards since early March. I should have been working on the yard too, however, I kept telling myself that for this season, while husband is deployed out of country, I could let the yard go. I was just lying to myself. I can't let it go. There is something about fresh edged beds and fresh mulch laid down that just says, beautiful! So, today, I had an hour to kill. School for Elijah was done, laundry was done, Bible study work was done. So, off we went, in our working outside clothes, ready to play in the dirt. First goal, to re-edge the area around my vegetable garden and lay down more mulch. If you ask my older two what comes to mind when you mention removing sod, they will probably tell you that it brings forth nightmares of their time in Wisconsin, when their mom had them working very hard to remove sod in our yard to put in a vegetable garden. Well, our youngest still hadn't had that experience yet, so it was time to show him how much fun it is to rip up sod. Interestingly, he is a worker. It brings him joy to think that he is being useful and helpful. I was surprised to see him lifting these small chunks of dirt and putting them into the wheelbarrow. I told him a few times, how strong he was and he offered to let me feel his muscles. Which of course I did and told him, "yup you are strong, just like your daddy". I told him over and over again how helpful he was to me, "especially with daddy away right now" and how "daddy is going to be so proud of you when he hears how you helped momma in the yard." Am I feeling the work of my labor, absolutely, and as stiff as I am right now, I wouldn't change anything for the time I got to spend with our boy today, teaching him how to work hard like his daddy.

Learning to let go

We raised our oldest kids to be independent and ready to provide for themselves when the time came to leave our home. Our oldest son, left last July to intern for a ministry in Utah. I always thought he'd be coming back home after that to work or go to graduate school. Turns out that God's plans might just be a little different than my plans. Our son is praying about the possibility of going into full-time ministry and possibly somewhere out west. Is our son capable of leaving our home for good? Yes, he is. Am I ready to have our son leave our home for good? No, honestly, I'm not. Is it partly my fault? Absolutely! I helped train our son to be an independent learner, thinker and worker and guess what? With the Lord's direction and guidance, that is exactly what he has become. He is no longer a child, he is a man. A man with purpose and direction and he knows what he wants and what he doesn't want. Now all I can do is pray for him and be available for him when he does call, write or text.

Where's the support?

My husband has served with the military since 1996. He has been part of the Air Force Reserves, and now serving with the Indiana Air National Guard. Every year he has done some sort of time away from home, mostly it was a weekend away each month and about 2 weeks away at some time each year. His longest deployment outside of the states prior to this tour was three months. I thought that was long. Next came nine months away from home, within the states to do training for a new career field. That wasn't so bad, we flew him home for Thanksgiving and Christmas and we were able to speak to each other every day. This time is for 7 months and he is not stateside. We do not live near a military base and the one he serves at is very small. Since we are not active duty, we do not have the support active duty military families receive to get prepared for deployment. I do not have the benefit of having a group of other military families that I can call or just hang out with during my husband's absence. Not one person from his base has called to make sure everything is okay or to see if there is anything that we need while he is gone. Life is very different for a military family who is not active duty. The people in my community do not understand what life is like for us. In fact, I often get the comment, "well at least your husband won't be gone for years like some military families".  I just smile and want to correct them and say, those military families do get to come home in between tours of duty and those back to back tours are not happening as often any longer.

Having said that, I am part of a church body and if I needed anything, all I would need to do is ask and I am sure I would get the help that I need. However, since we do not live in a military community, it's hard for anyone at our church to even understand what things I might need. People ask me, "How are you doing", and I smile and say, we are doing fine. Do they really want to know the truth? Part of me thinks that I need show everyone that everything is fine. I can handle this. I'm a strong Christian and I know that people watch me. If I waiver at all, they'll think she's not trusting in the Lord to provide and take care of her. You know, people can be judgmental and critical. Even Christians. I don't want to be self-focused, I want to be others focused and so I pour my heart out to the Lord and He hears my cries. He's the only one that needs to know anyway. 

Here's the question that people should be asking, "What can I do for you this week to help you?".

I write this not for the sake of getting help, but to share with you that the way we word things can make all the difference. You may know of a single parent or a widow or a military family in your community or church that might be in the same season that I am in right now and they do need your help, even when they don't ask for it. 

Here are some ways you might be able to help:

Offer to watch their children. Give a specific day and time you are available. This might allow the person to go get a haircut or go to a doctors appointment or go to a special function at church or elsewhere that they normally wouldn't be able to do.

Make a meal for them to stick in the freezer for future use.

Invite them over for a meal or to spend time doing an activity. We have been invited to eat with other families and this has been such a blessing as our meal time has become very quiet and lonely.

Offer to help around the house or the yard. Single parents, widows and military families with children are trying to do it all and something has to be given up.  

Most of all pray for them. One of the things I have noticed is that as I continue to get use to how quiet and lonely it is around my house, I tend to want to hibernate and just stay in my house and not get out and do anything. I have to fight that and I do because I know that God has a plan for me to serve Him whether or not my husband is by my side. It's hard though and I have to force myself to stay among the living.

Once you find a way to bless a single parent, widow or military family whose spouse is deployed you will be surprised at how blessed you are by blessing others. 

Giving honor where honor is due

Today I was blessed to witness the love of a church body show their love and memories for our Pastor and his wife who have served the Lord faithfully in our church, Harbour Shores Church for 30 years. Our family has only been at this church for three of those 30 years. We have been greatly blessed by our Pastor Jennings' expository preaching of the word. I have been personally blessed by his wife Lisa and her teaching of the Titus 2 ministry. Our family members have been blessed by serving in Behold the Lamb and Celebration Choir, both lead by Lisa. One of my favorite parts of the morning was to hear a letter from Stephanie, to her parents read aloud and to hear from Don III and from Clayton speak so lovingly of their parents. God was praised over and over again for the way that He has blessed the Jennings through the years. What a beautiful day.

Sharing love

Today E and I participated with our church family in an outreach in the community we live in. A couple of different ways were offered to serve and we chose to take fresh cut flowers to the widows and elderly at a local nursing home. Our little E is a lover of people. He enjoys talking and is not afraid to approach people. As I watch him, I learn a lot about how to love people the way Jesus did. He made sure to tell these sweet ladies to make sure they give their flowers water everyday. I could tell that these residents were craving conversation and just a hug from E, made their day. I really do need to add a trip to the local nursing home a regular trip for us. If you are looking for a place to serve in your community, why not try a nursing home, some of these elderly are so lonely and just want to visit or have someone give them a hug. We tried to bless others today and instead we were the ones who were blessed!

Deployment days

My husband has been gone from our home since Superbowl Sunday 2012. He's been deployed out of the country. Our youngest and I did get to go see him before he left at the end of February, but it's April and time seems to be moving so slowly. When I think about the months we still have to get through, well, I just try not to think of it.

I follow Faith Deployed Blog http://www.faithdeployed.com/ and this video was posted today. http://youtu.be/XvWR5u5O9_Q  (I posted it earlier-take a look at it on the side of my page). Of course I cried and of course I prayed again for my husband.

I am really new to this blog thing, so be patient with me. We really want to have a blog about marriage stuff and someday I'll get to that, but right now I'm just trying to keep things going around our home and for our son whom I home-school.Mama's got to stay strong for the little guy. Thankfully, I know the Lord and He gets me through every day.

Please watch the video and then pray for our American military members who are away from their family members.

There You Go Again (Official Music Video) Olivia Perez-Breland